It’s that time of year again, where we Mum’s get our very own little celebration day… and it has got me thinking about what we Mum’s really want…
Mother’s day is different for everyone, and as a Mum of a small army of little people, Mother’s Day for me has different connotations. I love that we get some family time and usually, some nice food. But I also miss my own Mum desperately. She was a totally free spirit, and there will never be another one like her. She was strong and crackers in equal measure. She brought me up on her own, juggling nursing and childcare, and I remember how she was very rarely still. Although she did have a cosy corner where she loved to watch Coronation Street, with a cold cup of tea in the largest of cups (before large cups were popular).
Sadly this will be my fourth Mother’s day without her though as she lost her battle with Cancer four years ago. So as well as loving having a day to celebrate how fabulous us Mum’s are, it can be slightly sour for me.
Anyway, I digress… The reason for this blog is because as we approach another Mother’s day, I did the obligatory reminder for my husband last night that it was coming up… Which led me to thinking, yet again how incredible we Mum’s are, (and Grandma’s and Auntie’s too of course). I often get on my soap box about this as I really feel that we do not blow our own trumpets, often or loud enough! So when I can, I like to just give a cyber high-five out to each and every one of us!
We are literally the Captain, cook, cleaner and mediator of our family-ships. We do everything. My husband is good, don’t get me wrong, Dad’s you are great too! But this is a moment to celebrate the Mothership! What with school runs, working, cleaning, washing, ironing, feeding, shopping, bathing, facilitating school clubs, homework, after-school clubs, helping family, trying to be a good friend, life admin, work admin, trying to be a social adult…. While also, documenting it like an MI5 agent in OUR diary, so that logistically everything works out, and everyone is where they need to be, at the right time, with the right equipment, while the washer is still on, and tea is in the oven… WOW! I’m exhausted just writing at this. And so, I say it again… We are Incredible!
At the end of all that, we still find time for everyone, and we do it, day in, day out, without complaining… (ahem, generally – I do have my moments!)
But, you know what? (I’m going to say it ladies… for all of us…) Sometimes… we don’t want to, we don’t want to do everything for everyone else, we want to have a lie in, take a bubble bath – without being disturbed, have a massage, talk to friends – alone, without little people interrupting. And every now and then, we Mum’s would like to feel that all of those things we do to keep life ticking over, are appreciated, and that we can find the time and energy to do things for ourselves too, rather than putting ourselves to the bottom of the pile.
Which leads me to Mother’s Day, I like that on that day, we are celebrated, we are thanked, and we are appreciated. I know that we shouldn’t need a day to do that, and that it should be woven into every day, but look, in our house – our days are manic – that is the best and truest description of them. Some days, it’s purely survival, and no we don’t appreciate each other and thank each other for what we have all done to help, we just survive it. So we need a day. A day, where we put the ironing down and just bask in how wonderful we are.
So given the mania of every day when I look around at my little people, in the calm moments, where everyone is bathed in beautiful light and getting along, I think… I want to bottle this moment. Just for me, so I remember it alway. On the manic days, and on the survival days… I need to fall back onto this moment. This is what I want for my Mother’s day, moments of happiness, which I can fall back on, on the days when doors are slamming and toys are being thrown.
A way of me doing this is looking at my girl’s family portraits… that hang silently one the wall, but give me so much joy. Reminding me of the days when they were taken, what we had done that day, was it a good light day? Or mania… or both? That is what photographs give you, your centre, and wholeness. They are your memories, they are your story, your happiness. Family photographs are my most treasured possession, and with every year that passes, they become, more and more important.
So Mum’s, this Mother’s day, why don’t we ask for what we want… Ask for some photographs of you and your little people, to put on the wall, and hold your memories up on the bad days. Or a bubble bath, with no interruptions? Whatever it is that you want… ask. Because, Mother’s day is for you… So embrace it, and enjoy it…. And ask for whatever makes your heart happy. And Dad’s surprise the Mum’s by giving them something they didn’t have to ask for… You know what they want, and would love… If its photographs, book them in, (I do have some Mummy and Me slots (see pinned post) left on April 6th… just contact me to get booked in.) Or, you could get them a photography gift voucher – to pop in their card. If it’s a night with friends, arrange it. Just let them know, that you know what they want, without asking.
By the way…. Today for me was a survival day, my four year old staged a sit in on the front step, and got a wet bum, then cried all the way to school. Then my little 2 year old fell and cut her head open on the school gate… All during a gale, and rain. So yes, definitely a survival day….
Tomorrow, maybe we will get the beautiful light…. xx